Time To Get a Little Raw & Vulnerable

So it is currently 12.30 at night and I've just arrived home and I randomly felt the need to write this blog post. I was feeling inspired I suppose, and have just decided to run with it. Love. Small word, heavy meaning. I am yet to fall in love. I'm 20 years old and still haven't really been kissed, but that is totally okay with me. I've always been a hopeless romantic, a bit of a dreamer, and I value love very highly. I also value waiting for love very highly. I do not intend to awaken it until it so desires. I'm hoping that day is coming around soon, but who knows. 

Today I witnessed heartbreak. Not my own, but someone else's. And it was rough, really rough. It gave me perspective and thankfulness that my heart is whole and has not been through too many ordeals in the love sector thus far. I was trying to give advice and words of comfort in a difficult time, and a few things came to mind. I immediately thought of a quote I'd read by Taylor Swift. She said, "hang on it gets easier, and then it gets okay, and then it feels like freedom". I can't exactly remember what she was speaking about regarding this quote, but I feel like it could apply to a lot of different circumstances. Today, I applied it to heartbreak. I think there is truth in her words. You really do just have to hang on. Perspective is a very beautiful thing, but the climb up towards the view is rarely easy. It is hard, long, treacherous and challenging, but well worth it in the end. 

I think love is amazing. Probably the most amazing thing we will ever experience. But it can also be the most awful and heart-wrenching thing too. Just because love knocks you down, does not mean you should stay down. As they say, fall seven times, stand up eight. You must always get back up. Keep fighting. Work harder. Be better. Easier said than done, I know, but not impossible. If there's one thing I know is that people are constantly growing. Sometimes growth is painful. But it is ever so necessary. I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with this post now to be honest, I suppose I just wanted to remind you that you are worth more than the sum of your heartbreak. You will find love again. 

Sometimes people hurt us. Sometimes relationships will deteriorate. It will happen when you're six, and when you're sixty. But that shouldn't stop you from trying. The best things in life, I believe, require risk. Although I am definitely not experienced in this area, I think perhaps my ability to see the whole picture without any past experiences getting in the way can be a good thing. I am coming from a fresh place. That's not to say that I've never felt sad regarding love before, because I have. But it was never proper heartbreak, because I was never in love or in a relationship or anything of the sort. It was unrequited love that gave me a rude awakening. Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, but I think that the recovery is much easier. 

Love can sometimes have a lot of negative connotations to it. Don't let that stop you. I'm not letting it stop me. I know that one day I'm going to experience something so incredibly wonderful that it will make the risk worth it. Maybe it won't work out in the end, but maybe seeing if it does will be the greatest adventure. I constantly pray to God that He will keep my heart safe until the time is right and I've found my forever. I think that's probably why I'm still single. I just haven't found my forever yet. I used to blame myself and look down on myself thinking I just wasn't good enough - and that that was why I was still single. Then one day I knew better. 

Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have. You have to truly love yourself first. For how can you expect somebody to love you if you don't love you? Just doesn't make sense. It's a battle, but if there is anything worth winning, this is definitely it. And if all else fails, know that I love you. Good things are coming. For both of us.

Love, S. 

My Morning: Pause, Ponder, Write

In my last blog post I mentioned how I wanted to shift 'Sam Indigo' into becoming more personal. This post is just that, so I hope you enjoy it! 

I'm a Christian. I have been going to the same church for almost 10 years now and while I've had many ups and downs along the way, Jesus has stayed constant and so has His Word. That's the beauty of the bible, it is constant, when many things in our lives are not. I came across this quote on Tumblr that says:

Arguably the most beautiful thing about the Gospel is its consistency.

When I don’t feel like it’s true, it still is-

When I don’t feel clean. When I don’t feel like I belong. When I don’t feel accepted. When I don’t feel loved. I am.

I love that! There is so much truth in those words, and that is something that we often forget. However, this post is not a recount of my faith or a sharing of my testimony (though I am happy to do that one day if anyone wants to hear about it), but just me sharing my morning with you all.

It is currently 9.30am and I've just finished having some breakfast and spending some time with God. I get to do this most mornings, which I am very grateful for. I love being able to just sit down, open my bible, and see what God wants to tell me. While I was doing that very thing this morning, I got the idea to write a little blog post about it. I thought to myself, why not share it with you guys. After all, this is definitely something more personal and different to what I normally do, which is what my goal was! 

As I mentioned before, I've been a Christian for almost 10 years now, but it's only been in the past year or so that I've consistently read my bible. It's terrible - I know! Now, reading your bible doesn't make you a Christian, just like not reading your bible doesn't not make you a Christian. But it helps. I can honestly say that this past year of reading my bible has been so much better than all the years not reading it. When you read the Word you are opening yourself up to the possibility, or the guarantee rather, or hearing directly from God. The opportunity to read my bible every morning allows me to build a strong platform that I can stand on. It sets the theme of my day and helps me to refocus, feel inspired, and then take on whatever the day may hold. 

This morning I was reading a few chapters in Joel, and the one major standout verse for me was Joel 2:13. In the NIV translation is says:

Return to the Lord your God, 

for he is gracious and compassionate, 

slow to anger and abounding in love.

I know I could definitely learn a few things from that. If we all acted like that, the way God is, imagine how much happier the world would be. I don't want this post to be me shoving my beliefs down your throat, but rather me sharing what I do in the morning with you. I love God, I think He's amazing, but I am not going to sit here and tell you that you need to become a Christian right this very moment. If you want to, sure, but I think it's something more personal. It's a feeling you get, when you just know. If anything I just hope this has inspired you to take some time to stop, breathe, ponder and refocus. That way you will be able to face whatever the day throws at you with fresh eyes and a clear mind. 

Love, S.

I'm Starting Somewhere...

Good evening lovely people who are taking the time to read this! I do hope you've had a wonderful day.

This post is going to be different from what I usually feature here on 'Sam Indigo'. It's a step forward in a direction I've wanted to take for quite some time now. I've let myself hold me back from writing this post and putting this into motion, but tonight I stumbled across something that made me open up blogger and begin typing. To explain, I've wanted to take my little blog, Sam Indigo, in a bit of a different direction for a while now. When I say a different direction, I don't mean completely changing everything, I just mean adding a few little things to make it more personal. I've been writing this blog since December 2012, almost 2 and a half years, and it's been filled with all things relating to beauty, a bit of fashion, and a splash of lifestyle here and there. I have loved the journey so far, but have grown bored with my content lately, which is why there has been a lack of consistent posts over the past few months (sorry about that!). 

When I sat down and thought about all the things I loved about other peoples blogs, something in particular stood out. I loved seeing them in their blogs. Their creativity, their individuality, their voice. I loved reading their posts because it felt so personal and so exciting to see what they had been getting up to. I felt inspired by them and knew I had to make a change. This little post is basically just to say that this change is coming here on Sam Indigo. This year, 2015, is the year where I start to incorporate more personal posts into the usual beauty, fashion and lifestyle that already fills my blog. That might include a post filled with random thoughts on a particular topic, a snippet of my weekend and things I'd been up to, or just my brain spilling onto the pages in whatever form that might take. This change starts now. 

Don't worry, nothing is going to change too drastically or anything. Honestly, you probably won't even really notice, but I wanted to write this post just to fill you in anyway. Not only is this post for you, it's also for me. I'm hoping that since I've written this and published it, it will hold me accountable to bring these changes to life. I want you guys to know me. Not just what makeup products I'm loving or what new things I bought, but actually know a little bit more about me as a person. There came a point where I was trying to think of how to make 'Sam Indigo' stand out among the rest - and then it hit me. Put as much of myself into it as I can, because I am the only me on this earth. Therefore the things which I produce are unique, because I am unique. My plan is to put myself into this blog more so than ever before, because that's how it is made different from all the others. Nobody can write a blog exactly how I will write a blog, we're all going to bring something new to the table. 

So there you have it! I hope this rambly post made some sort of sense and that you're excited for the journey that's ahead. I know I am. 

Image source: Tumblr

Lust Have It! | February Box

Once again it's time for another Lust Have It box to land on my doorstep. It's a monthly beauty subscription box which includes 5-6 deluxe samples of a range of beauty products, all for $19.95. However, I do have a code which will give you $5 off your first box and it's SAMINDIGO. Just type it in when you're checking out on the website. Now, to get into the box!

This months theme was 'All About Makeup' which is totally up my street. My box included 5 items, 4 of which were full size. I'll talk about them in order of how they're laid out in the photo above. So first we have the Paula's Choice Skin Perfection 2% BHA Liquid Exfoliant which retails for $33 for the full size, but the one I received was the sample size which they estimate to be worth around $12. As the name would suggest this is a chemical exfoliant which also contains salicylic acid. This definitely sounds like something I will like, providing it isn't too harsh on my skin. Next is the Designer Brands Black Liquid Eyeliner and it retails for $8.99 and I received a full size. I've recently started to get into liquid liner (though I am awful at applying it!) so I know I'll be getting a lot of use out of this. I find Designer Brands products to be a bit hit and miss at times, but we'll see how this one goes. The next product is the Natural Glamour Illuminating Foundation which retails for $29.95 and I got the full size. As soon as I saw this I knew it would be useless to me because it is just far too dark for me to get away with. It's in the shade medium and I am extremely pale so I don't think I'll ever get any wear out of this which is a shame. I'm just going to leave it sealed and try to pass it on to a friend or family member. Sticking with the brand Natural Glamour is their 2Glo Line Treatment Concealer which retails for $27.95 for the full size. I also received this in the shade medium, but I think I might be able to get some wear out of it because it doesn't seem as dark as the foundation, and the line treatment can be used on most people so that's fine. I have never used a primer just for underneath my eyes so I'm interested to see how it goes. Lastly is the Ulta3 Lip Liner in the shade Plum. This is another full size product and retails for $2.95. While I usually love everything that is plum-related, this is more of a browny-plum and I'm not too sure if I'm going to love it, but I'm definitely going to give it a try. 

All in all, I wasn't overly wowed by this box but it wasn't totally rubbish either. I would love to see some more luxurious brands included in these boxes rather than just the cheaper ones, so hopefully that'll happen one day in the future. 

*This box was sent to me for consideration, however all opinions are my own. This is not a sponsored post.