Time To Get a Little Raw & Vulnerable

So it is currently 12.30 at night and I've just arrived home and I randomly felt the need to write this blog post. I was feeling inspired I suppose, and have just decided to run with it. Love. Small word, heavy meaning. I am yet to fall in love. I'm 20 years old and still haven't really been kissed, but that is totally okay with me. I've always been a hopeless romantic, a bit of a dreamer, and I value love very highly. I also value waiting for love very highly. I do not intend to awaken it until it so desires. I'm hoping that day is coming around soon, but who knows. 

Today I witnessed heartbreak. Not my own, but someone else's. And it was rough, really rough. It gave me perspective and thankfulness that my heart is whole and has not been through too many ordeals in the love sector thus far. I was trying to give advice and words of comfort in a difficult time, and a few things came to mind. I immediately thought of a quote I'd read by Taylor Swift. She said, "hang on it gets easier, and then it gets okay, and then it feels like freedom". I can't exactly remember what she was speaking about regarding this quote, but I feel like it could apply to a lot of different circumstances. Today, I applied it to heartbreak. I think there is truth in her words. You really do just have to hang on. Perspective is a very beautiful thing, but the climb up towards the view is rarely easy. It is hard, long, treacherous and challenging, but well worth it in the end. 

I think love is amazing. Probably the most amazing thing we will ever experience. But it can also be the most awful and heart-wrenching thing too. Just because love knocks you down, does not mean you should stay down. As they say, fall seven times, stand up eight. You must always get back up. Keep fighting. Work harder. Be better. Easier said than done, I know, but not impossible. If there's one thing I know is that people are constantly growing. Sometimes growth is painful. But it is ever so necessary. I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with this post now to be honest, I suppose I just wanted to remind you that you are worth more than the sum of your heartbreak. You will find love again. 

Sometimes people hurt us. Sometimes relationships will deteriorate. It will happen when you're six, and when you're sixty. But that shouldn't stop you from trying. The best things in life, I believe, require risk. Although I am definitely not experienced in this area, I think perhaps my ability to see the whole picture without any past experiences getting in the way can be a good thing. I am coming from a fresh place. That's not to say that I've never felt sad regarding love before, because I have. But it was never proper heartbreak, because I was never in love or in a relationship or anything of the sort. It was unrequited love that gave me a rude awakening. Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, but I think that the recovery is much easier. 

Love can sometimes have a lot of negative connotations to it. Don't let that stop you. I'm not letting it stop me. I know that one day I'm going to experience something so incredibly wonderful that it will make the risk worth it. Maybe it won't work out in the end, but maybe seeing if it does will be the greatest adventure. I constantly pray to God that He will keep my heart safe until the time is right and I've found my forever. I think that's probably why I'm still single. I just haven't found my forever yet. I used to blame myself and look down on myself thinking I just wasn't good enough - and that that was why I was still single. Then one day I knew better. 

Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have. You have to truly love yourself first. For how can you expect somebody to love you if you don't love you? Just doesn't make sense. It's a battle, but if there is anything worth winning, this is definitely it. And if all else fails, know that I love you. Good things are coming. For both of us.

Love, S.