Taylor Swift has been one of the main inspirations in my life for many years now. To me she's more than just her 1989 album and short hair. I came across this image on Tumblr a while ago and haven't been able to shake it since. I felt like I lost myself a few years ago, and have been clinging to anything to get who I was back. The past few years have held a lot of rainstorms. There have been too many moments where I've completely lost it. I've found myself crumpled on the bathroom floor more times than I would like to admit. I seem to continually refuse to deal with things, which causes them to build up until I explode. This leaves me having to deal with my broken self all over again. It's not healthy.
I love the final line of this speech that Taylor gives. She says, "I now believe that walking through a bunch of rainstorms gets you clean." Something I have refused to do, no matter how hard I find it to be, is to stop walking. You fail when you abstain. I will always keep walking. Keep going. Keep fighting. Keep pushing. Because there is always another side to the mountain. A bright side with a downhill slope.
Last week I cut my hair shorter. I decided that I needed change and I needed healthy hair again. I think that was when these more empowered thoughts really came to mind again. I try to have a positive outlook on life most of the time, but I've been feeling down lately. I've been feeling lost, actually. I needed to find myself again. I needed to shake and change old ways and find out who I truly want to be. In the foreword of 1989 Taylor writes,
"The debate over whether people can change is an interesting one for me to observe because it seems like all I ever do is change. All I ever do is learn from my mistakes so I don't make the same ones again. Then I make new ones. I know people can change because it happens to me little by little every day. Every day I wake up as someone slightly new. Isn't it wild and intriguing and beautiful to think that every day we are new?"
We break and we bleed and then we heal. We change and it hurts but we are strengthened. I am very much obsessed with becoming someone who is completely comfortable in her own skin. Because this is it. This is what I get. I get this life, and this body, and this mind, and it is up to me to be okay with that. I think I'm slowly becoming okay with that.
Earlier today I bought Taylor's fragrance called Incredible Things. Priceline was having a half price sale on perfumes so I decided to treat myself. More so than that, I wanted to cement this mindset that I had formed. A mindset that incredible things can and will happen to me. I am beautiful, and courageous, and strong. I have the ability to change the world. I refuse to not believe that these things are true. It breaks my heart to think that there are far too many girls out there who don't believe these things about themselves. Whenever I spray this perfume I will think of these words. Whenever I catch the scent on my skin during the day I will remember this mindset.
I try to live with the thought that something good and wonderful is about to happen, and so should you. I want to encourage you with the reminder that even if you're in the middle of a rainstorm right now, you'll get through it. You'll come out the other side cleaner than you were when you went in. You will come out stronger and with a new drive to fight for who you are and what you want to be. Don't be afraid to live your life with confidence. For too many people are. I used to be too afraid, but it's something that I'm working on. And remember, those who are crazy enough to believe that they'll change the world are the ones who actually do. So let's be world changers.
Love, S.
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