Last June I wrote a post titled Pondering on Love... (which you can read here) and I thought I would write a part two of that post today. Pretty much everything that I wrote in that post is still relevant today and my views on love are still the same. Although it's eight months later and it seems like I'm still no closer to falling in love, I can't help but be excited. Don't get me wrong, I still feel down about it sometimes, but right now I'm excited and expectant.
Sometimes I freak out a little because I feel like I wouldn't be a very good girlfriend. When I try to picture it, I just don't know if I would live up to certain expectations. But how can I know for sure until I'm actually in a relationship? I can't! However, that doesn't mean that I can't start learning now before the time comes. I read an article this morning that went through the 7 Ps of Christian Marriage. It was an eye-opening and encouraging article and exactly what I needed to read and be reminded of. I won't go through everything it said, but I will point out some bits that really stuck out to me. There was a bit that talked about praising God for the husband that He will one day bring you. The one line in particular that struck a chord with me was, "the same God that blesses them, blesses you." Simple, yet so profound to me. It was a basic truth, but one that I tend to forget so easily. The God that is bringing couples together all around me desires for me to find my forever love as well. Another line that I found equally encouraging said, "God's desire to reveal will always be greater than your desire to know." In other words, God wants to reveal and bring my future husband to me more than I want to know who my future husband is. How crazy but encouraging is that thought!
My urgency to find out has slowly begun to diminish as I begin to realise that God actually cares, and He's not keeping me waiting for no reason. It just simply isn't right yet. He hasn't forgotten about me, He's just still working things out. Ann Voskamp once said, "Waiting is just a gift of time in disguise - a time to pray wrapped up in a ribbon of patience - because is the Lord ever late?" No, God's not late, I'm just impatient. And I need not be. Some days are hard, some days are easy, and I know that it's not always easy being single. But I also know that it's probably not always easy being in a relationship. Both rely on trusting in God completely.
So while I'm in this season, I intend to squeeze all that God wants me to know out of it. To not let myself go to waste because I'm single - because how silly does that sound? I'm not going to sit around twiddling my thumbs until prince charming strolls on by, but I'm going to grab life with both hands and run. As I mentioned in my previous post, life hasn't been super peachy lately, but I'm on a new road now. A road to recovery. A road to somewhere better. There are going to be lessons and tests along the way, and God is with me through every single inch of it. He knows my steps. And somewhere along the way I'll fall in love and step into a new season altogether. Every day that passes is another day closer to that happening. And I intend to live fully, starting now, instead of waiting until I've got a boyfriend, or waiting until I know what my purpose is, or waiting until I feel like I'm fixed. Why wait?
I'm going to leave you with these beautiful and uplifting words from Lysa TerKeurst...
"That hard thing you are facing right now? Remember, you are strong. You are persevering, tough, able to bend without breaking, willing to be humbled to the point of humiliation, not blinded, a hunter for wisdom, a praying-through-it woman, a courageous gal, one who wants to learn the deep dependance of following hard after God himself.
Let me reach through these fragile, typed-out letters and take your hand. And stand with you. From that cracked-open-heart place, a God-Breathed strength will rise. Rise. Rise."
Love, S.
Images: Tumblr
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